Our Adventures

How to Prepare for Your Next Adventure, According to Freddy

By September 15, 2017 No Comments

Take the mad suggestions from your friends and strangers on the internet seriously while they cackle evilly under their breath.

Sign up to put your life in danger by doing something you are absolutely unqualified to achieve.

Realize you may have mistaken friends for enemies.

Sign some of those friends up to go with you as a sort of revenge.

Delve into everyday work and distract yourself from fear by completely forgetting about the adventure you have agreed to participate in.

Two weeks before said adventure, wake up in a cold sweat and lie in bed staring into the darkness which is your near future.

Panic.

Get on the internet and start looking for that car, motorcycle, or boat you don’t have, but need desperately. Send emails in response to craigslist ad posts attempting to explain what you are aiming to do with their vehicle. Reread email from their point of view. Delete. Delete. Delete. Ah, screw it. Send.

Wait.

Drink.

Purchase said vehicle.

Celebrate by drinking.

Pack the most ridiculous outfit you can put together. Must involve funny jacket, hat and goggles. Pack a second for your friend because you think they are going to look great and you aren’t going out in public like this alone.

Retrieve the boat/moto/car and make it your own using your minimal carpentry and design skills. Break it. Redesign and build again. Break it. Complete project hours before the start of the adventure.

Attempt to convince your loved ones that you are going to be perfectly fine, while you are crying on the inside.

Hear the starting gun, close your eyes, cross your fingers, wish upon a star, and strap in.

Go!