Our AdventuresR2AKR2AK

We don’t give a !*#& About Lists: A list of reasons why we hate lists

By April 25, 2017 No Comments

It’s the era of sound bytes, judgement and too much information. Welcome to the land of lists, where we can learn very little about a lot. Scroll away my modern misfits, while we share reasons why we retaliate against the style of list-making.

!. Go rogue and skip this this bold sentence altogether. Nice try. Lists are a lot about laziness. They should all be titled top ten ways to skip to the end. I’ve done it. Just read that first sentence and you have the gist and can move on. Now I feel like I can participate in conversations at dinner parties and spot a fake Philly cheesesteak. Besides, the reasoning which follows the lead sentence is often trivial and the content is opinion, not fact.

*. We’re no expert. This is an opinion article, not to be confused with an Onion article, which is actually pretty funny most of the time, but that’s just our opinion. My favorite television show of all time is Misfits of Science (or as it was known in France, Superminds). Ever heard of it? Probably not. It was cancelled before the final episode aired and even I would probably call it lame if I watched it today. But seriously, who would cancel an episode titled “Three Days of the Blender” in which “a blender is accidentally delivered to Billy, he ends up getting arrested as a spy and Stetmeyer gets targeted by the FBI?” *As a consolation, we give this inanity of a time suck, Will It Blend?* While I’m sure some people are more qualified to suggest the best of certain things and may even have fancy spreadsheets and algorithms, that still doesn’t mean they are right. No one has gone everywhere and done everything. We are wrong a lot. Let me tell you. I just made this last sentence bold for the hell of it!

#. Have you ever read one of those “For Dummies” books? Lists are like the Cliff Notes for that series. We are pretty dumb and do some dumb things, but we don’t think our audience is a bunch of dummies. We’re pretty sure you are smart and courageous, in-depth individuals who don’t need 700 ways to say potato. (I personally say it “french fries”) These lists are a conniving way to avoid telling the whole story. They just sprinkle in some highlights of lots of things rather than actually delving into one topic. We aim to do more for you here. We have chosen one adventure to pursue at this moment, R2AK, and appreciate you following along as we march into mayhem. We will do our best to explore it to our fullest and share the best and worst parts as well as everything in between.

&. This one isn’t even a reason. This isn’t really it’s own section. We’re just expanding on the idea and reaching out to you. Maybe it’s kind of a dare. Be bold. We dare you to pick one thing and go for it. If you could choose one adventure, one place to explore, what would it be? Where would you go? Who would you meet, and would you tell us all about it? We hope you will. Let’s share the things that really matter, all the way. Live outside the list!